Kia Ngākau Māhaki — My Journey With Mental Health, Balance, and Kindness
Mental health is one of those things I wish we spoke about more openly when I was younger. If I could sit down with my younger self and have a cup of tea, this is what I’d tell her.
Realising My Mental Health Deserved Care
I was about 20 years old when I first realised my mental health was something I actually needed to invest in and look after - not something you simply ‘get through’. I didn’t know if what I was feeling was normal, or just part of the pressures of growing up.
The biggest sign that something wasn’t right was the unhappy lens I placed over everything. I felt this way for a long time, confused by the emotions inside my own body, until I realised nothing was going to change unless I changed.
Reaching out to my family was the first step. I was living away from home at the time and the call to move home was strong, as well as the best thing I could have done for myself at that time. I then let my emotions guide me towards what I needed to do to get better.
I started journalling - every thought, big or small. Journalling wasn’t something I was really into before that but is now something I turn to when things are getting tough. I also turned to exercise, even on the days I didn’t want to. Some days I cried through the whole workout. Some days it took hours just to finish the WOD. But I showed up anyway. Moving my body made me feel somewhat human again.
Im not saying that journalling and working out saved me and solved all my problems but it was a start.
What I Wish I Knew Earlier
If I could go back in time, I’d remind myself that my culture and identity are the sound tūāpapa of who I am.
Go back home.
Return to your maunga and be purified by your home winds.
Soak in the awa and let your emotions flow.
Stand on the mahau of your whare and bear your soul to your tīpuna.
Let your whānau wrap around you and help carry the weight that is holding you down.
These foundations have always been there - I just needed to gently be reminded to return to them.
Finding Balance in a Busy World
For a long time, I thought balance meant doing everything perfectly and always giving back. Now I realise it’s the opposite.
If you know me, you’ll know I’ve never been great at saying no. No matter how long my to-do list is or how little time I have, I would put my hand up and say yes - trying to awhi others in any way I can.
While saying yes fills my heart, it also drains my battery. Time after time, I burn out. And the people who loved me most were often the ones who felt it - the short replies and answers, the lack of quality time because I was ‘too busy’ yet they were the ones who supported me through the big days, the ones whose shoulders I cried on.
Now I understand that balance means saying yes to what fills my cup, and knowing when enough is enough.
Being kind to others has always been easy but being kind to myself has been the real journey.
Kia Ngākau Māhaki…
KNM is the reo Māori version of our much-loved Always Be Kind crewneck, which we first released in 2023 and again in 2024. Our dear friend, Mauriora Tutara, gifted us this translation. Kia Ngākau Māhaki can carry many meanings and is open to personal understanding — one of which is ‘Always Be Kind’.
Wear it when you want your warmth to speak louder than words — a gentle reminder that ngākau pai (kindness) begins within.
Hoahoa mai i Aotearoa, e tupu ana i te māhaki. 💗
‘Kia Ngākau Māhaki’ is the reo Māori version of our very popular ‘Always Be Kind’ crewneck, which we first released back in 2023 in ode to Mental Health Week. As it was a crowd favourite and sold out in just one day, we brought it back again in 2024.
Mauriora Tutara provided us with the translation ‘Kia Ngākau Māhaki’, which can have many interpretations and is open to your own understanding - one of which is ‘Always Be Kind’.
Wear it when…you want your warmth to speak louder than words - a gentle reminder that ngākau pai (kindness) begins within. Hoahoa mai i Aotearoa, e tupu ana i te māhaki. 💗
AS Colour Relax Hood, offering comfort with its relaxed fit and mid-weight 320 GSM fabric blend of 80% cotton and 20% recycled polyester fleece.
Features include a pullover style, drop shoulder, kangaroo pocket, and ribbed sleeve cuffs, complemented by a self-fabric lined hood and tear-out label for a minimalist appeal.
Saving approx. 8 500ml plastic bottles from landfill.
A Little Hītori — The MHC Story
Our ‘Always Be Kind’ Mental Health Crewneck was first released in 2023 during Mental Health Week. It sold out in just one day, so we brought it back again in 2024.
“MHC — Mental Health Crews were created to celebrate the mahi that has gone into mental health awareness, challenge harmful conversations, and raise money for kaupapa that do amazing work.”
— Nellie Rahiri (Co-founder), 2023
You can read more on our ‘Always Be Kind’ Mental Health Crewneck in our other blog post ‘Be Real’ https://www.thekindnessproject.nz/blog/be-real.
Relaxed fit.
Pullover crew, drop shoulder, crew neck
Mid weight, 320 GSM.
80% cotton 20% recycled polyester anti-pill fleece, sleeve cuff ribbing.
$10 from every crew neck sold will be donated to Mental Health Foundation of NZ.
P.S.
If you ever need help, you don’t have to go through it alone. Here are some Aotearoa/NZ helplines you can call or text:
Need to talk? Call or text 1737 — free, 24/7, to talk with a trained counsellor Mental Health Foundation+1
Lifeline – 0800 543 354 or text HELP (4357) lifeline.org.nz+1
Suicide Crisis Helpline (Tautoko) – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) lifeline.org.nz
Depression Helpline – 0800 111 757 or text 4202 Mental Health Foundation
Youthline – 0800 376 633 or text 234 Mental Health Foundation
Samaritans – 0800 726 666 Mental Health Foundation
Anxiety NZ – 0800 269 4389 (0800 ANXIETY) Mental Health Foundation
Healthline – 0800 611 116 for general health and wellbeing support mhwc.govt.nz
If you're in immediate danger or it's an emergency, please call 111.
Arohanui Mads x